(A certain amount of penis-talk, so not to everyone’s taste.)
My digital-artist friend continues their tour through the 12 days of Christmas in the carol, with the daily gifts embellished by hot hunks chosen to give me a moment of delighted arousal; the artist knows my ways.
They mail out greeting-card prints of their compositions to me on the day depicted in them, and when USPS manages the task of getting the cards from one American coast to the other with dispatch, they arrive in my mail 4 days later. (The performance of USPS is, to put it very kindly, erratic; yesterday was 1/10, and the cards from days 8-10, for 1/1-3, had not yet arrived.)
In any case, the cards from days 6 (geese a-laying, 12/31) and 7 (swans a-swimming, 1/1), which did arrive in 4 days, represent a shift in the artist’s approach to their subjects: instead of showing a hot hunk together with the gifts of the day (as in the first 5 days), the gift birds are treated as manifested in Hot Hunks: 6 feathered hunks who are clearly hot lays; and a putative 7-man swim team, wearing tight long johns to accentuate their figurative swan necks (their down-curved penises). Exponential explosion of hotness ensues.
Days 6 and 7 straddle the mid-point of the 12 days, so this would be a good time for some overview and summing up.
The inventory of the 12 gifts. By day number, date, and gift:
1 (12/25, Christmas) a partridge, 2 (12/26) turtle doves, 3 (12/27) French hens, 4 (12/28) calling birds; 5 (12/29) golden rings; 6 (12/30) geese, 7 (12/31) swans; 8 (1/1) milkmaids, 9 (1/2) dancing ladies; 10 (1/3) leaping lords, 11 (1/4) pipers, 12 (1/5, Epiphany Eve) drummers
The days divide clearly into two thematic parts: the bird part (days 1-4, 6, and 7) and the human part (women in days 8 and 9, men in days 10-12). The tune also comes in two parts, separated by the trumpet-like cadence on day 5 (golden rings).
Previously on this blog. Three postings.
— on 12/31 in my posting “The 7th day of Christmas”:
Back on the 4th day, December 28th, my mail brought me a digital-art celebration of the 1st day. … For the occasion, a partridge of sorts in a pear tree of sorts, and … starring a fabulously hot object of gay sexual desire.
— on 1/1 in my posting “The AI Hot Hunk Twelve Days of Christmas”, about the artist’s program for the 12 days, with two versions of the 5th day (golden rings): an X-rated raunchy composition rejected by the printers, and its printer-acceptable substitute; in both, the golden rings are on the hunk’s body
— on 1/3 in my posting “The Hot Days of Christmas, days 2 – 4”: a hot hunk plus 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, and 4 calling birds (on their phones)
Days 6 and 7 of the Hot Hunks of Christmas. With my interpretations (which I haven’t discussed with the artist and might not accord fully with their intentions)
(#1) 6 geese a-laying: 6 feathered hunks displaying themselves as great lays, advertising their hot torsos and crotches (and one butt) — so as 6 hot lays
That’s hot ‘passionately enthusiastic, eager, or excited’ and ‘lustful, amorous, or erotic’ (NOAD). Plus lay as in subentry 2b in this NOAD entry:
noun lay: … 2 vulgar slang [a] an act or instance of having sex. [b] [with adjective] a person with a particular ability or availability as a sexual partner.
More detail in OED2 (from long ago, now under revision) under the noun lay-7:
section 7.d. A woman [AZ: should now be person] who is readily available for sexual intercourse; an act of sexual intercourse. slang (originally U.S.) [1st cite 1932; ‘readily available sexual partner’ examples: swell lays, an easy lay, a good lay]
And in GDoS under the noun lay-2:
1a person with whom one has intercourse, or a promiscuous woman; usu. qualified as a good lay, a bad lay, an easy lay etc. [examples include a great lay, a lousy lay, a hot lay, a pretty good lay and include gay male uses as well as heterosexual ones]
(#2) 7 swans a-swimming: 7 men, presumably a swimming team, though clad not in swim suits but in very tight-fitting long johns that make their protruding penises, their figurative swan necks, the center of the composition
It’s all about swan necks. From NOAD:
compound noun swan neck: a curved structure shaped like a swan’s neck: [as modifier]: a small swan-neck dispenser.
First, an actual swan neck:
(#3) Cygnus olor the mute swam (Wikipedia photo by Marek Szczepanek)
Then, from this exemplar we get the metaphorical names:
swan neck flask, swan neck agave, swan neck daffodil, swan neck finger deformity
And:
(#4) A plumbing fixture, the swan neck pipe
And a flaccid penis in side view (which, alas, I can’t illustrate for you on WordPress, so you’ll have to draw on your own experiences).
Swim on, swans of desire.